*Waving a rickety old cane in the air*

Does it strike anyone as odd that The Cat in the Hat is now one of the most recognizable sources of factual information for children?

I love the Cat in the Hat, but to put a creation of Dr. Seuss (the king of whimsically making stuff up) in charge of explaining real-life things is like putting Guy Fieri in charge of the food pyramid.

One minute he’s basically encouraging Nick and Sally to nhilistically live like there’s no tomorrow and the next he’s preaching about fiscal responsibility? Please.

One minute he’s tormenting a fish and the next he wants us to bow down to him as the expert on aquatic animals? Come on.

One minute he’s driving some BS “cleaning up” contraption that could never work in real life and the next he’s talking about great inventors? Is this a joke?

ONE MINUTE HE’S ENCOURAGING KIDS TO DESTROY THEIR HOUSE AND THE NEXT HE’S TRYING TO TELL THEM HOW TO LIVE RIGHT AND KEEP HYDRATED??? I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT!

The mixed messages are clear, are they not?

All I’m trying to say here, is are we sure it’s a good idea to have The Cat in the Hat serving up nonfiction?