Children’s Lit Commish: Bye Bye Fly Guy

The following is a work of fiction. This morning the Commissioner of Children’s Literature announced that the popular Fly Guy series will come to an end due to a lack of exciting background patterns for the covers of new books. “They’re out of ideas and they’re terrified”, said the Commissioner. “They’ve used circles . . […]

The following is a work of fiction.

Big Podium

This morning the Commissioner of Children’s Literature announced that the popular Fly Guy series will come to an end due to a lack of exciting background patterns for the covers of new books.

“They’re out of ideas and they’re terrified”, said the Commissioner.

“They’ve used circles . . .

9780545666336_7865e

. . . stripes . . .

9780545493291_0b605

. . . diamonds . . .

9780545662758_91e86

. . . hearts . . .

9780545110297

. . . stripes again . . .

9780545222761_eb77f

. . . soup ripples . . .

9780545312844

. . . dots . . .

9780545238755_e9b5a

. . . explosions . . .

9780545312868

. . . squiggles . . .

9780545007221

. . . pinwheels . . .

9780545667906_673ad

. . . more explosions . . .

9780545663168_29109

. . . and there are simply no more exciting patterns in existence.”

The Commissioner continued, “Everyone involved with the decision is very sad about the whole ‘no more exciting patterns in the whole world’ thing, but they understand that since the series has exhausted all exciting patterns, it must now end.”

When asked if they had truly used all exciting patterns currently available, the Commissioner again brought up the soup ripples cover to indicate that the bottom of the barrel had indeed been scraped

Share

Be the first reader to comment.

Comment Policy:
  • Be respectful, and do not attack the author, people mentioned in the article, or other commenters. Take on the idea, not the messenger.
  • Don't use obscene, profane, or vulgar language.
  • Stay on point. Comments that stray from the topic at hand may be deleted.
  • Comments may be republished in print, online, or other forms of media.
  • If you see something objectionable, please let us know. Once a comment has been flagged, a staff member will investigate.


RELATED 

ALREADY A SUBSCRIBER?

We are currently offering this content for free. Sign up now to activate your personal profile, where you can save articles for future viewing

ALREADY A SUBSCRIBER?