When I first started reading on my Kindle with some regularity, I would assiduously report typos and formatting issues via the “report content error” option you can get via highlighting a word (other options include looking up the word in a dictionary, which is handy indeed). When you tattletale on a misspelled word, you get the canned response “A customer support specialist will look into this error. You will be able to view the status on your profile page on kindle.amazon.com the next time this device synchronizes with Amazon.”

LIES. My profile page indicates that I have submitted 45 corrections since last June, and not a single one has had its status move beyond “submitted.” I’m guessing “report content error” is just one of those feel-good buttons. I did find a funny mistake, though, and thought I would share it with you since Amazon is ignoring my calls. From the Kindle edition of Paul Theroux’s Ghost Train to the Eastern Star:

“all [Zarathustra] taught was understanding the earthly elements, the turn of the year, the one God. And three simples rules to live by: good thoughts, good words, good deeds. Also a belief in the purifying nature of ire, which was central to the faith and a symbol of the Almighty.”

FIRE, you heathens.