Fame, Fortune, and the Bran Muffins of Doom

Gr 4-6-Precocious, with a sizable vocabulary, Simon is determined to win his school’s talent show. He enlists the help of his trusty friends Ralph, the hypochondriac son of physicians, and Munch, a nose-picking, human garbage disposal. The cast of characters also includes the requisite archenemy, in this case, Mike McAlpine and fruity-smelling Stacy, whom Simon refers to as “foul girl.” She inspires Simon to form a band, much like the popular Funkee Boyz, in order to claim the show’s grand prize. The fact that neither he nor his friends play instruments or are musical in any way is not considered. They soon begin practicing in Simon’s backyard, only to be thwarted by Simon’s crotchety old neighbor, Mrs. Annand, who throws rock-hard bran muffins at the boys to silence them. The text is sprinkled throughout with Simon’s extraordinary vocabulary choices, which are highlighted and far above the comprehension level of the intended audience. A glossary is included to aid readers, but the sheer number of words makes using it an almost impossible task and certainly interrupts the flow of the story. Simon is supercilious and often downright rude. Munch’s habit of putting anything and everything in his mouth is disgusting and often disconcerting. There is not much to recommend this title, which seems as doomed as the victims of Mrs. Annand’s bran muffins.–Mary Beth Rassulo, Ridgefield Library, CT