Limited Shelf Life
RSSJuly 1, 2010
As members of the LGBT community, we are constantly being told that we?re worthless or disgusting. And when that?s all we hear of being gay, then it starts to become what we see as the truth. So with no one expecting much out of us gays, it?s our job to be extraordinary. Not only to prove the world wrong, but to prove ourselves wrong. With the world directing all this ugliness toward us, we have to find beauty in other things. And the easiest place to find beauty? Words. Literature.
I?d always been told by kids on the playground that I was gay. I never knew what that was, but I knew it was something I sure didn?t want to be?kids would crinkle their noses and giggle in a ?na-na-na-na? sort of way at the mention of gay. It wasn?t until middle school that I found out what it was. Of course, I knew that I was, in fact, gay, but I denied it to myself. I mean, isn?t middle school all about fitting in?
Around eighth grade, it really settled into my head that I liked boys, not girls. (No wonder my attempts at having girlfriends never worked out!) I still tried to suppress that fact, but I was becoming more open to the idea of being gay. And then, I met my now-best friend, Destinie. As we got to know each other, we found we shared a love for artisticism: I, reading; she, writing. Through her writing, I saw she felt the same as me. About everything. When she came out to me as a lesbian, I realized that being gay wasn?t a bad thing. So, I came out to her. And we spoke through reading and writing. ?Omg, House of Night has a gay character!? ?Really?? ?Totally. And he?s ?ber hot.?
Destinie and I spent our days in Borders looking for gay characters. The only ones we could find were the ones in the adult section. (Not that we were complaining! Have you read those steamy, passionate sex scenes?) I found one that seemed like what we were looking for?What They Always Tell Us by Martin Wilson. We read it and talked and cried about it. I spent the rest of the year reading my way through Tom Dolby, Robin Reardon, Julie Ann Peters, and David Levithan.
Hayden Thorne, a wonderful writer, once described LGBT fiction to me in a great way. She basically said that there are two types of LGBT books: those that are about gay characters, and those whose characters just happen to be gay. While I really enjoyed reading about gay struggles, I was ready for something that was just a pure (gay) romance. I wanted to read Romeo and Julio instead of Romeo and Juliet. I didn?t want to read the usual coming-out story (there?s an abundance of those!). I was ready to see gay characters trickling into the mainstream genres.
When I set out to find more LGBT titles, I turned to my school?s library. Honestly? It was pathetic. There was not one single LGBT novel. But oh, of course the librarian went out of her way to buy books about gangs, drugs, and teen pregnancy. When I asked her about that, she replied, ?This is a school library. If you?re looking to read inappropriate titles, go to a bookstore.? Uhm, how in the hell is LGBT YA lit ?inappropriate??
I mean, think about it. The librarian claimed LGBT novels were inappropriate, yet she approved of books that had heterosexual sex. Yeah, she was being gay-cist! It wasn?t until May 2009 (my last month of attending that school) that she bought a book that mentioned gays. It was Ellen Hopkins?s Impulse. Finally!
The local public libraries weren?t much better. The only LGBT book they had was The Meaning of Matthew. But, of course, they had Sharon M. Draper?s latest novel. Because, you know, drugs and gangs are acceptable, but inspirational LGBT novels are just downright ?inappropriate.? After I put in numerous requests, they finally bought David Levithan?s Boy Meets Boy and Will Grayson, Will Grayson. I hope that an LGBT teen in need stumbles across one of those books, and I hope it helps that person out.
The world needs more librarians who are devoted to finding the right book to put in the right person?s lap, not librarians who think they can decide what?s ?inappropriate? and what?s not based on their personal prejudices. There are tons of gay teens struggling to find a group to fit into. LGBT YA lit helps us realize that no, we aren?t alone and no, we aren?t worthless. It helps us discover that we are part of the LGBT group, which includes tons of brilliant people, doing brilliant things.
To read more of Brent’s writing, visit his blog, The Naughty Book Kitties. A slightly different version of this essay originally appeared on Pinched Nerves, librarian Janet Trumble’s blog.
