The Debut: Gary Ghislain, How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend
RSSDodie Ownes
Fourteen-year-old David has a normal life that borders on the bizarre—his father is a psychologist to juvenile "hard cases" with a practice in a tiny French village, while his mother, now living with the long-suffering Édouard in Paris, is a sharkish divorce lawyer. Then Zelda comes into David's life, and all that other stuff suddenly doesn't matter. Brought to his father because of her delusions of being a space traveling alien, Zelda soon entrances David with her stunning looks, conviction, and wild Debut young adult author Gary Ghislain gives readers a story about aliens, parental influence, friends, and loyalty, and a soupçon of haute couture in How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend (Chronicle, June 2011). Fun and fast-paced, it's a name-dropping romp across the French countryside and Paris, territory quite familiar to Ghislain who grew up between the city and the French Riviera. When Chronicle agreed to get me in touch with Ghislain, I jumped at the chance. Let's start with the cover and illustrations by Jillia It was entirely Tamaki's visualization. When I got my first look at the cover, I was thrilled that she had interpreted Zelda's tattoos, especially the octopus thingy, the key to Vahalal, "a strange triangular octopus proudly holding a stick." I loved it, so much so that I'm getting the octopus tattooed on my right wrist sometime this summer. I hope Jillian won't mind me stealing her design. But I couldn't resist carrying around such a nice key to another world. When David ignores his father's rule—"Act normal when guests talk nuts"—and confronts Zelda, calling her a nutcase, she exhibits her superiority by nailing a garden statue from a distance with a chunk of apple. Despite his earlier doubts, this physical act seems to initially catch David's attention more than anything else that there might be something to her story. A boy-versus-girl thing? I gave David some of my frustrations and fascinations from my teenage years. I was really bad at spitting, burping, or throwing things—three of the most important activities for a young French boy. Burping the alphabet was like a compulsory routine if you wanted to get any friends. I couldn't even do the letter "b" which, I was told, was like burping 101. And then, there was throwing things. I was terrible at that too. Which was a shame, really. Because if you could bulls-eye any of Madame Aubry's horrible garden gnomes while standing on Monsieur Dubois' apple tree, 30 feet from there, you were the man. I could never do that. My apples were flying left and right. Even the gnomes seemed to be laughing at me. I would have been totally and immediately fascinated by any girl who would have been an apple-throwing champion. Is fashion in the DNA of all French people? I got a good chuckle from the Paco Rabanne metal swimsuit reference. My husband still has a very old bottle of Paco Rabanne cologne on the bathroom shelf, leftover from the '80s. I don't think French people care that much for fashion. Again, I gave David something from my own childhood. Not that I am or was a fashion freak. Quite the opposite. Converse shoes, jeans, and a random T-shirt is my uniform du jour. But my parents worked in fashion. My mother was a designer. My father was a fashion businessman. They were crazy about haute couture when I was a kid. They taught me the names, and who did what, and why shoulder pads will never come back into fashion. But mainly, they taught me that if ever touch that black number by Kenzo again, they will give me away for adoption. And as for the Paco Rabanne cologne—it does smell strong, doesn't it? Like something you would use to keep insects and wild animals away. Where did you get your inspiration for the leader of Vahalal, Zook, being represented by a depiction of the Virgin Mary in the old church that is actually "a freaking STARGATE," as David calls it? I wanted David to see the world through brand-new goggles. At his young age, we take most things for granted. Everything has a clear name, and every name has a clear meaning. I wanted Zelda to come into his comfortable life, and destroy every single concept he had. So he had to rethink everything, including big concepts like "parents" or "God" or "love" or 'authority'. And I wanted Zelda's knowledge to come through as shocking. God is a woman called Zook. Love is a sin. Parents are meant to be destroyed (I edited this one out of the final version). And as for the name Zook, it just sounded horribly '60s and Barbarella-ish, and I loved the music of it. Malou, Éduoard's disenfranchised daughter, is at first opportunistic in her relationship with David then becomes more sisterly as the story progresses. How did you develop that newfound sense of loyalty in this rather kicked-around character? Malou is a character that follows me in every story I'm writing. She's an agent of chaos. The evil sister I never had. My invisible friend. This girl is bad news; she's a mess and an emotional psychopath. But I see her as a really good person who was damaged by the events in her life so far. So she protects herself in a shell of destructive carelessness. Initially, she pretends to be totally free spirited and detached from everyone and everything, especially her family or her father. But as the story goes, she opens up and starts to show that she genuinely loves David and would like to be part of... something. Probably a loving family. Did you notice how she always wants to be part of any given community, like the Valks, when she gives them the "V" sign, or how she immediately wants to gang up with Zelda and David? Zelda is very similar to David's mother in many ways—passive/aggressive, driven, self-centered, physically violent, focused, and self-destructive. After he surprises Zelda with a loving embrace, and survives, David decides to try the same tactic with his mother, and it works. Did you have this parallel in mind when you started the story? I didn't see the parallel between Zelda and David's mother until very late during the editing process. Obviously, they're two violent women you wouldn't like to meet in a dark alley. But originally, I wanted them to be as different as beavers and ducks. I saw them as two radically opposite forces in David's life. One was locking up David emotionally, and was the main reason his life sucked. The other zoomed down from outer space to free him from his asphyxiating childhood and help him break out of his shell and become his own self. The Vahalian exiles are stuck on Earth waiting for contact with the Chosen One, which Zelda believes to be Johnny Depp. I love this exchange between the leader of the Valks and her minions: "Get me Brad Pitt. Lock him in a safe location. Wait for my instructions. We will exchange him against Zelda's goodwill." "She said Johnny Depp, your highness." "Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Robert freaking Pattinson! I don't care. We will abduct every single Hollywood stud if it will bring us back to Vahalal. GET HIM!" Have you heard from any of the guys about this blatant stereotyping? No, not yet. But I would love to. Honestly, I'm really hoping for Johnny Depp to be aware of this book in the future. And I'd love to get his feelings about the title and the story. Somehow, I'm convinced it would make him laugh. He's so cool. How couldn't he be cool about the whole alien girlfriend situation? Space Flopping. Space Splashing. I have this sort of Jet Li thing in my head—even close? I'm thinking this has Hollywood written all over it. I was rather going for a retro Flash Gordon feeling there... But I hope you're right about the Hollywood thing. I could really see Emma Roberts as a great Zelda. Strangely enough Keir Gilchrist would make a great David too (they already play together in "It's a Kind of a Funny Story"). Sadly, they're both turning 20 this year. Too bad. But wouldn't it be great to be searching for the perfect Spacegirl in Hollywood? Ghislain, Gary. How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend. Chronicle, 2011. This article originally appeared in School Library Journal's enewsletter SLJTeen. Subscribe here.
stories of life on her home planet Vahalal.
n Tamaki. Once readers get into the story, they'll recognize the designs reflect David's descriptions of Zelda's body markings. Did the two of you collaborate on the artwork?
